How to be a smart Conman in Kenya…

Jared Kiasa Otieno is a man of great means who savours life from the first lane.

He owns a range of Porsche cars and magnificently posh homes in the leafy suburbs of Lavington, Kileleshwa and Karen. When he is on official engagements, he is chauffeured around with a chase car in full siren mode to clear traffic and pave way for his entourage.

Some few years ago, he thrilled the whole nation when he splashed a whooping 16M in a lavish Ruracio that saw a fleet of fuel guzzling and high end SUVs taking over the Nairobi-Meru highway while 4 conspicuous choppers hovering around the sky to signify his presence. Jared’s flamboyance is second to none.

This is now the most baffling thing about the man from Kanyidoto village, Ndhiwa Constituency, Homabay County. He has built, through the treasure for quick fixes, an empire of young marauding conmen and extortionists who steal with reckless abandon. To join this empire, you must fulfill some very basic qualifications including putting your life on the line when the deal goes sour or things go haywire.

One, you must speak English with exemplary proficiency and finesse. This is because of the simple belief that the global transactional lingo is English. There is nowhere you will append your signature in a business contract penned down in your mother tongue. So he has managed to pluck out the glit-edged young men especially from South Nyanza Counties of Homabay and Migori. He is so cunning and the business so lucrative that some have permanently stopped their education to make their lifetime kill.

A taste for bespoke designer suits, bedazzling shoes, Hugo Boss cologne, the latest power bank that is never plugged out of the phone; authentic and effulgent Q Max wrist watches must be your textbook definition. That’s why it is easy to be perceived to be a conman when you officially dress to kill. Na umenga’ara aje kama conman? Ever heard of that question? This young men are always intellectually grounded but then they channel their intellectual strengths in statutory robbery.

Jared’s prey are not your ordinary mother’s boyfriends. They are top notch investors especially from Arab countries of United Arab Emirates, Qatar and Saudia Arabia. When they land at the Jomo Kenyatta International Airport, the traffic police on Mombasa Road are always notified. You will then spot a V8 awaiting them at the airport before police escort; a Subaru Outback and uniformed outriders, start snaking through Mombasa Road to exclusive hotels where the deals are cut.

By the time the unsuspecting investor gets out of that hotel, he would be fully convinced that Uhuru Park is Jared’s personal property and his children’s playing field, that Statehouse is his grandmother’s urban home; and that he is in constant communication with CSs who most times turn out to be masqueraders. If the deal is less than 50M, then Jared will either direct you to his proxies or will advise you to go and buy your deplorable family a descent house with that kind of money. He only deals with eight zeros and above.

To just prove how his intricate connections are, Jared’s Kileleshwa home was being guarded by a contingent of GSu and he knew of his impending arrest. That is why the DCI couldn’t smoke him out of his hideouts. He just had to personally present himself for apprehension after wide consultations with his boss. And you know that boss?

Your guess is as good as mine.

The writer is Nyainda Manaseh

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