There are two conflicting sayings about love, that somewhat confuse lovebirds, especially the millennial. The first one is “out of sight, out of mind”. This simply means that when you are not seeing somebody physically, you eventually end up forgetting about them altogether, and move on. If you loved them, the sparkles reduce greatly, thanks to lack of physical contact. The other one is “absence makes the heart grow fonder”. This one means the exact opposite of the former; that when you are not seeing somebody for long time, you love them even more.  I really don’t know which of the two holds more water, but some university students in the dating scene have preferred the latter.

They have defied discouragements from friend and foe to connect to sweethearts far away, that the eye cannot see, nor human body reach, on normal life. Some of them have held on to the relationships long born years ago, as past as primary school. Even with that, they admit of having gone through challenges, including the one you are thinking of- infidelity and insecurity. Nevertheless, they are still trudging up the road. Here below are some of them.

Mitchell Awuor (not her real name) She is a sophomore at Mount Kenya University, and she is almost out, having done all her course requirements, save for the industrial attachment that she is undertaking now. Mitch, as she is fondly called by her friends, has been in long distance relationship since she joined campus. Back then, she was studying at MKU Kisii campus and her boyfriend was in the Nyeri-based DeKUT.  However she moved to Nakuru to do her attachment. She says that back then when she was in Kisii, the dating scene was not so rosy, as they could only meet once in a very long time, thanks to distance, coupled with class work and money scarcity. Even then they still promised each other to propel the relationship through the rough waters.

Her move to Nakuru must have come as a huge boost to their relationship, s they can now meet once every month. On top of that, the two lovebirds far apart make daily calls and text each other every day, to keep the love hot and going. However, Mitchell  says that she has had to battle with feelings of infidelity and insecurity, which, she says, almost dealt their relationship a fatal blow. She remembers sadly how she caught her boyfriend’s poorly guarded evidence on her side gal.

She narrates

I had gone to visit him, as I usually do. When we are together, we are free to go through each other’s phones. So on this day, i woke up at night and started going through his texts. Then i got a conversation with his buddy. In the conversation, my boyfriend was telling his friend how he had run into headwinds with her other girlfriends. He went on to confess that he was only after sex with the other girl. After reading the whole conversation, I couldn’t keep quiet. I woke him by a hard slap, and went out crying. Of course we later resolved our issues, and we are good now.

However, she also confesses of having paid back in equal measure, by engaging herself with another guy. The opportunity for vengeance came when the two had had enough disagreements and the decided to break temporarily. It is during that period that Mitchell found another guy and started dating. Even though they later went back to dating with her first boyfriend, she is yet to sever ties with the new kid on the block; her new boyfriend.

She says that she also OK with the long distance as it reduces chances of getting irritated over petty issues. It also makes them miss each other more, thus making them love each other even more.

However, some of her friends don’t have kind words for her, as they tell her that her boyfriend has another girl in school.

Paul Nyakiba

Paul Nyakiba. He is a third year student at Scottish Christian University in Machakos. Her girlfriend is at the University of Eldoret. The two have been dating while since their high school days and they are not stopping any time soon, according to Paul. In fact, he says he plans to walk down the aisle with the girl, in the fullness of time. Paul and her girlfriend use to the maximum their holidays by spending times together, lest the relationship wanes. He also calls her every day. In addition to that, they do make arrangements for the girl to visit him once in a while. He says that for them they are OK with each other and they don’t have trust issues with each other.

Moureen Koech. She is a third year student at the Technical University of Mombasa.  Her boyfriend is at the Technical University of Kenya in Nairobi. Moureen says that the have been friends since primary school, and they are used and so well known by each other. When they reached second year in university, they decided to take up their friendship a notch higher, and so they started dating.  Her boyfriend is OK with the distance and the few times that they meet. She insists that she has banked on loyalty on both sides to keep together thus far.

In this age of top notch technological advancements, technology enthusiasts believe that anything is possible, vis-a-vis distance. We live in a global village, and thus goes the popular, clichéd phrase. History will prove to us that those who have successfully gone before us, in every field that is noble and worthy mentioning have endured many things and kept their characters unquestionable. Discipline has been the key since time immemorial, and it will be till we die. The Christian faithful will tell you that in all, let God’s will be done. Unto all the comrades and millennial in LDR’s, I wish you well. Keep the love hot, albeit through noble means.

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